How to Make Your Marriage Work and Improve Your Relationship
How do you make your marriage work? Click the image and watch this live interview by Centre for Fathering, Dads for Life with our marital therapist, Ruby Lee, examining the causes of divorce, its impact on couples and their children, and how to protect marriages. Gain valuable insights and practical advice, including the importance of seeking support from marriage counseling services.
Also discussed are the Co-parenting tips after divorce, should the inevitable happens. It is important for children to feel loved and cared for by both parents.
Key Points shared :
2019 divorce numbers showed couples who were married for 5 to 9 years accounted for the largest share (29%) of all divorces. Median age of men 43.4years & women 39.3 years
What are the root cause and reasons?
“Couples say they don't know their spouse anymore”
Once married, couples transition to parenthood and focus on financial and family needs as well as career aspirations, resulting in a shift of focus from each other to many other demands. They lose their friendship and dependence on each other, living separate lives. Life is stressful and lacks fun.
Some ended up turning to others for support and down the slippery road of extra-marital affairs. Without constant communication and time for emotional bonding, issues become difficult to resolve and the argument escalates. Marital satisfaction becomes lower and lower over time till it is cold or hostile.
What are some of the common advice you give to your clients to improve their marriages?
1) Be a team through life transitions
Turn towards each other, make a joint plan, and help each other cope, whether it is adjusting to parenthood or getting a new job, or making major decisions.
Be really good friends. Allocate time to talk and bond with each other emotionally and inject fun and passion where possible.
2)Talk it out in conflict situations
Instead of gridlocked, dialogue about issues in a calm way. Talk about your needs and expectations, instead of criticisms, contempt, defensiveness, and stone-walling.
3) Support each other’s life dreams
Share with each other about your hopes and dreams for the couple, family, future plans, or relationship goals. Help to make each other's dreams and aspirations come true.
What if divorce happens, how do you Co-parent after divorce? Can it still work?
"Children need to feel they are still cared for and loved by both parents."
Co-Parenting is important to help children transition to divorce family life smoothly. Key factors to make this possible are amicable parental relationships, consistent parenting, and normalcy. Read the 8 tips in the next post.
ABOUT LIFE AFFINITY COUNSELLING
Life Affinity is a counselling service based in Singapore that was established with one mission, ‘Building & Bridging Lives.’ We strongly believe that individuals have the right to enable positive changes to better themselves and those around them, which is attainable through counselling.
Our counselling ranges from individual counselling services to marriage counselling services. We realise that people deal with deep, personal issues through various means, hence we use different approaches to better suit their needs.
Besides providing listening ears to help people dealing with personal issues, our counsellors are also trained to equip couples with relationship checkup and marriage preparation. These services serve as a foundation for couples to build a fulfilling and stronger future together.