MARRIAGE COUNSELLING IN SINGAPORE: Creating a Stronger Future
(Image by pressfoto on Freepik)
Marriage Counselling in Singapore
Couples get married to build a dream life together. After the excitement of weddings wind down, they enter into the reality of having to make many adjustments through their life journey together. From adapting to each other's lifestyle habits, embracing each other's family of origin, family planning, raising children, building financial nest eggs to adjustment to retirement, every life stage transition presents its own challenges. When couples are able to navigate these transitions well, the relationship can grow closer, stronger and more rewarding. However, many couples hit into gridlocked issues due to individual differences and find themselves not able to get out of the cycle of conflicts.
Often, these are some negative thoughts that could run through their heads:
-
Why are we constantly fighting over the same issues?
-
How can I get my spouse to understand what I need?
-
Can our marriage get any better?
-
I feel helpless because my spouse just won't discuss with me about things that matter.
-
Our relationship is becoming boring and mundane, it is not getting anywhere.
Some couples turn immediately to counselling to resolve the issues before the relationship breaks down beyond repair, they fear. However, many delay seeking professional help until one spouse is at the brink of calling it quits if things don't change. Whichever situation you are in, the good news is it's never too late so long as both are willing and committed to fight for their marriage.
Many who are reluctant to seek marriage counselling fear being judged for they have a misconception that going for counselling is a sign of weakness or failure. Some may be sceptical that counselling can help. Fortunately, over the years, more and more couples are recognising the value of having a third party with experience in dealing with similar issues with other clients who could help them see their own blind spots and understand the underlying root issues that are perpetuating the gridlocks. In many cases, it has helped to normalise their issues knowing that their conflicts are commonly faced by many other couples!
"To make a relationship last: couple must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other's hopes and dreams."
- Dr.John Gottman
What is Marriage or Relationship Counselling?
Marriage or couple counselling involves having both partners present to solve their issues – together. There are two sides to every marriage’s story, and a trained, professional counsellor’s job is to listen, engage, and understand both sides while eventually guiding each to a happier conclusion.
Counsellors will never force you to do anything, and we never take sides; our goal is to help you and your partner find a healthy, sustainable way to resolve your issues together and carry on with a purpose-filled life.
How does marriage counselling help?
Marriage or relationship counselling can help in many ways. These are just some of the ways that we help our couple clients:
-
Provides a Safe Space for Dialogues
Couples with heated issues in their marriage may find it difficult to communicate their problems without one or both reacting negatively. Our first and foremost role is to help you and your partner openly and safely share your thoughts and feelings without any fear of being judged or escalating your conflicts.
-
Listens to both sides
There are always two sides to every marriage’s story. Our responsibility is to listen, engage, and understand the underlying issues from both sides and the triggers that spark the fights.
-
Facilitates Conflict Resolutions
We facilitate conflict resolutions without forcing you to do anything or take sides. Our aim is to help you and your partner find a healthier and sustainable way to resolve issues together.
-
Coach Couples in Relationship Building
Relationship building requires couples to participate in strengthening their marriages beyond just resolving conflicts. We use the Gottman’s Sound Relationship House to guide you and your partner to learn new skills to improve every aspect of your marriage.
Common Issues Couples Seek Help for in Marriage Counselling in Singapore
Marriage issues can vary greatly depending on the individuals involved and the dynamics of their relationship. Here are some common types of marriage issues in Singapore that we commonly work with couples on:
-
Communication problems: Difficulties in expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively, or issues with active listening and understanding.
-
Trust and infidelity: Broken trust due to infidelity or other breaches of trust can cause significant strain on a marriage.
-
Financial conflicts: Disagreements about money management, spending habits, financial goals, and unequal financial contributions can lead to tension and conflicts.
-
Intimacy and sexual issues: Lack of physical or emotional intimacy, differences in sexual desires, or problems with sexual satisfaction can create challenges in a marriage.
-
Conflict resolution: Inability to resolve conflicts or frequent arguing without reaching a resolution can create a negative atmosphere in the relationship.
-
Parenting disagreements: Differences in parenting styles, discipline methods, or decisions related to children's upbringing can lead to conflicts.
-
Unmet expectations: When partners have different expectations about roles, responsibilities, career aspirations, or lifestyle choices, it can cause frustration and discontentment.
-
Stress and external pressures: External factors such as work stress, financial pressures, extended family dynamics, or other life events can put strain on a marriage.
-
Lack of emotional connection: Feeling emotionally disconnected, unsupported, or not having one's emotional needs met can erode marital satisfaction.
-
Cultural or religious differences: Conflicts arising from differences in cultural or religious beliefs, practices, or values can impact a marriage.
These marriage issues addressed in counselling are not exhaustive, and many couples may face a combination of multiple issues. Additionally, each couple's situation is unique, and the specific challenges they encounter can vary. We are here to journey with you in addressing your specific issues and finding useful strategies for resolution.
How can Marriage Counselling help in Affair Recovery?
Affair recovery is a complex and challenging process that requires commitment from both partners. To help couples recover from infidelity and rebuild trust in their relationship, counsellors can offer support and help them navigate the specific challenges they face.
Through creating a safe space for both partners to express their emotions, fear, guilt, shame and concerns openly, counsellors guide the couples in the following:
-
Understanding the reasons and impact caused by the infidelity.
-
Rebuilding trust - a critical component of infidelity recovery.
-
Having an open and honest communication by both partners - learning active listening skills, empathy, and effective ways to express their feelings and needs without resorting to blame or defensiveness.
-
Restoring emotional intimacy and rebuilding emotional connection.
-
Addressing underlying issues, exploring unmet needs, improving conflict management skills, renegotiating roles and responsibilities, or addressing other relationship dynamics that contributed to the infidelity.
-
Developing a new relationship foundation based on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.
Our Marriage Counselling Approaches in Therapy
Marriage or couple therapy employs various approaches to help couples navigate their relationship challenges and improve their overall marital satisfaction.
At Life Affinity, our counsellors use the approaches below to help couples explore their concerns, improve communication, and work towards healthier relationship dynamics. The specific approach used will depend on the couple's goals and the nature of their challenges.
-
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): EFT focuses on identifying and transforming negative emotional patterns within the relationship. The therapist helps couples develop new patterns of emotional responsiveness and connection.
-
Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach is based on extensive research on marital stability and divorce prediction. It helps couples improve communication, manage conflict, and build trust and intimacy.
-
Integrative Approach: An integrative approach that combines techniques from different therapeutic modalities based on the unique needs of the couple. We tailor the therapy to address specific issues and goals.
Meet Our Counsellors
Tricia Lim
Throughout her career as a relationship therapist, Tricia has the privilege of journeying with countless couples to overcome their challenges or navigate difficult life transitions including adjustments, parenting and infidelity. Seeing her clients gain breakthroughs in their relationships and find renewed hope for their futures together keeps her motivated and going.
Tricia is certified in Level 3 Gottman Method Couple Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. She is also a certified practitioner of Prepare/Enrich facilitator.
Ruby Lee
Ruby is passionate about building and bridging lives. She prepares couples for marriage life and conducts relationship health checkups too. Her belief is to empower and prepare relationships, to start on strong, scientifically researched foundations.
Ruby is certified in Level 3 Gottman Method Couple Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. She is also a certified practitioner of Prepare/Enrich facilitator.
Do reach out to us by filling out the form below if you have questions about our counselling service and we will be happy to address your questions and concerns, if any. We will do our best to get in touch within one working day.
Our Working Hours:
Monday 10am to 6pm
Tuesday 10am to 8pm
Wednesday 10am to 8pm
Thursday 10am to 8pm
Friday 10am to 6pm
* Fees varies for sessions before 5.30pm and after 5.30pm.
* For information on our charges, please go to FEES.
Address:
171 Tras Street
#07-173 Union Building
Singapore 079025
Directions to get to our office:
By Car
Nearest car park is Icon Village and Altez. You can parking along the road in between 100AM and Union Building but the parking places are limited and usually full.
By MRT
Nearest station is Tanjong Pagar. Take exit A and walk toward 100AM building. Union building is right opposite. Take the lift at block 171.