happiness-asian-couple-family-marry-enjoy-morning-together-with-love-relation-sofa-home-in

MARRIAGE COUNSELLING IN SINGAPORE: Creating a Stronger Future

(Image by pressfoto on Freepik)

Marriage Counselling in Singapore

Couples get married to build a dream life together. After the excitement of weddings wind down, they enter into the reality of having to make many adjustments through their life journey together. From adapting to each other's lifestyle habits, embracing each other's family of origin, family planning, raising children, building financial nest eggs to adjustment to retirement, every life stage transition presents its own challenges. When couples are able to navigate these transitions well, the relationship can grow closer, stronger and more rewarding. However, many couples hit into gridlocked issues due to individual differences and find themselves not able to get out of the cycle of conflicts.

Often, these are some negative thoughts that could run through their heads:

Why are we constantly fighting over the same issues?
How can I get my spouse to understand what I need?
Can our marriage get any better?
I feel helpless because my spouse just won't discuss with me about things that matter.
Our relationship is becoming boring and mundane, it is not getting anywhere.

Some couples turn immediately to counselling to resolve the issues before the relationship breaks down beyond repair, they fear. However, many delay seeking professional help until one spouse is at the brink of calling it quits if things don't change. Whichever situation you are in, the good news is it's never too late so long as both are willing and committed to fight for their marriage.

Many who are reluctant to seek marriage counselling fear being judged for they have a misconception that going for counselling is a sign of weakness or failure. Some may be sceptical that counselling can help. Fortunately, over the years, more and more couples are recognising the value of having a third party with experience in dealing with similar issues with other clients who could help them see their own blind spots and understand the underlying root issues that are perpetuating the gridlocks. In many cases, it has helped to normalise their issues knowing that their conflicts are commonly faced by many other couples!

"To make a relationship last: couple must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other's hopes and dreams."

- Dr.John Gottman

What is Marriage or Relationship Counselling?

Marriage or couple counselling involves having both partners present to solve their issues – together. There are two sides to every marriage’s story, and a trained, professional counsellor’s job is to listen, engage, and understand both sides while eventually guiding each to a happier conclusion.

Counsellors will never force you to do anything, and we never take sides; our goal is to help you and your partner find a healthy, sustainable way to resolve your issues together and carry on with a purpose-filled life.

Connect with Us

How does marriage counselling help?

Marriage or relationship counselling can help in many ways. These are just some of the ways that we help our couple clients:

Provides a Safe Space for Dialogues

Couples with heated issues in their marriage may find it difficult to communicate their problems without one or both reacting negatively. Our first and foremost role is to help you and your partner openly and safely share your thoughts and feelings without any fear of being judged or escalating your conflicts.

Listens to both sides

There are always two sides to every marriage’s story. Our responsibility is to listen, engage, and understand the underlying issues from both sides and the triggers that spark the fights.

Facilitates Conflict Resolutions

We facilitate conflict resolutions without forcing you to do anything or take sides. Our aim is to help you and your partner find a healthier and sustainable way to resolve issues together.

Coach Couples in Relationship Building

Relationship building requires couples to participate in strengthening their marriages beyond just resolving conflicts. We use the Gottman’s Sound Relationship House to guide you and your partner to learn new skills to improve every aspect of your marriage.

Common Issues Couples Seek Help for in Marriage Counselling in Singapore

Marriage issues can vary greatly depending on the individuals involved and the dynamics of their relationship. Here are some common types of marriage issues in Singapore that we commonly work with couples on:

Communication problems: Difficulties in expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively, or issues with active listening and understanding.
Trust and infidelity: Broken trust due to infidelity or other breaches of trust can cause significant strain on a marriage.
Financial conflicts: Disagreements about money management, spending habits, financial goals, and unequal financial contributions can lead to tension and conflicts.
Intimacy and sexual issues: Lack of physical or emotional intimacy, differences in sexual desires, or problems with sexual satisfaction can create challenges in a marriage.
Conflict resolution: Inability to resolve conflicts or frequent arguing without reaching a resolution can create a negative atmosphere in the relationship.
Parenting disagreements: Differences in parenting styles, discipline methods, or decisions related to children's upbringing can lead to conflicts.
Unmet expectations: When partners have different expectations about roles, responsibilities, career aspirations, or lifestyle choices, it can cause frustration and discontentment.
Stress and external pressures: External factors such as work stress, financial pressures, extended family dynamics, or other life events can put strain on a marriage.
Lack of emotional connection: Feeling emotionally disconnected, unsupported, or not having one's emotional needs met can erode marital satisfaction.
Cultural or religious differences: Conflicts arising from differences in cultural or religious beliefs, practices, or values can impact a marriage.

These marriage issues addressed in counselling are not exhaustive, and many couples may face a combination of multiple issues. Additionally, each couple's situation is unique, and the specific challenges they encounter can vary. We are here to journey with you in addressing your specific issues and finding useful strategies for resolution.

How can Marriage Counselling help in Affair Recovery?

Affair recovery is a complex and challenging process that requires commitment from both partners. To help couples recover from infidelity and rebuild trust in their relationship, counsellors can offer support and help them navigate the specific challenges they face.

Through creating a safe space for both partners to express their emotions, fear, guilt, shame and concerns openly, counsellors guide the couples in the following:

Understanding the reasons and impact caused by the infidelity.
Rebuilding trust - a critical component of infidelity recovery.
Having an open and honest communication by both partners - learning active listening skills, empathy, and effective ways to express their feelings and needs without resorting to blame or defensiveness.
Restoring emotional intimacy and rebuilding emotional connection.
Addressing underlying issues, exploring unmet needs, improving conflict management skills, renegotiating roles and responsibilities, or addressing other relationship dynamics that contributed to the infidelity.
Developing a new relationship foundation based on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.

Our Marriage Counselling Approaches in Therapy

Marriage or couple therapy employs various approaches to help couples navigate their relationship challenges and improve their overall marital satisfaction.

At Life Affinity, our counsellors use the approaches below to help couples explore their concerns, improve communication, and work towards healthier relationship dynamics. The specific approach used will depend on the couple's goals and the nature of their challenges.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): EFT focuses on identifying and transforming negative emotional patterns within the relationship. The therapist helps couples develop new patterns of emotional responsiveness and connection.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach is based on extensive research on marital stability and divorce prediction. It helps couples improve communication, manage conflict, and build trust and intimacy.
Integrative Approach: An integrative approach that combines techniques from different therapeutic modalities based on the unique needs of the couple. We tailor the therapy to address specific issues and goals.

Connect with Us

Meet Our Counsellors

Tricia Lim

Throughout her career as a relationship therapist, Tricia has the privilege of journeying with countless couples to overcome their challenges or navigate difficult life transitions including adjustments, parenting and infidelity. Seeing her clients gain breakthroughs in their relationships and find renewed hope for their futures together keeps her motivated and going.

Tricia is certified in Level 3 Gottman Method Couple Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. She is also a certified practitioner of Prepare/Enrich facilitator.

Ruby Lee

Ruby is passionate about building and bridging lives. She prepares couples for marriage life and conducts relationship health checkups too. Her belief is to empower and prepare relationships, to start on strong, scientifically researched foundations.

Ruby is certified in Level 3 Gottman Method Couple Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. She is also a certified practitioner of Prepare/Enrich facilitator.

More about Us

Do reach out to us by filling out the form below if you have questions about our counselling service and we will be happy to address your questions and concerns, if any. We will do our best to get in touch within one working day.

Our Working Hours:

Monday 10am to 6pm

Tuesday 10am to 8pm

Wednesday 10am to 8pm

Thursday 10am to 8pm

Friday 10am to 6pm

* Fees varies for sessions before 5.30pm and after 5.30pm.

* For information on our charges, please go to FEES.

Address:

171 Tras Street

#07-173 Union Building

Singapore 079025

Directions to get to our office:

By Car

Nearest car park is Icon Village and Altez. You can parking along the road in between 100AM and Union Building but the parking places are limited and usually full.

By MRT

Nearest station is Tanjong Pagar. Take exit A and walk toward 100AM building. Union building is right opposite. Take the lift at block 171.

How do I make an appointment?

To make an appointment with Life Affinity, you can fill out this contact form and we'll get back to you within one business day. You may also email us at info@lifeaffinity.com.
What are individual counselling services?

Individual counselling services are one-on-one counselling sessions where a client works closely with a trained therapist in a safe, supportive environment. This is where you can explore, analyse and understand your thoughts, emotions and behaviours that affect your day-to-day life.
How do I know if I need individual counselling services?

Here are a few signs that you need individual counselling services: 1. You experience difficulties like relationship problems, stress, anxiety, depression and trauma. 2. You abuse substances such as drugs and alcohol to help you cope. 3. You have too much intrusive thoughts (e.g., harming yourself, negative self-talk) 4. You feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and apathy. 5. You want to learn how to express your feelings and thoughts in productive ways. Having a qualified counsellor you can wholeheartedly trust helps you progress more quickly down the path of recovery and breakthrough.
Are marriage counselling services only for couples who face extreme relationship difficulties?

No, marriage counselling is beneficial for all couples. Your relationship doesn't have to be at the breaking point for you to seek the guidance of a trained counsellor. Aside from resolving conflicts, it can help you maintain a fulfilling relationship, strengthen emotional connection and practice prevention.
What are marriage counselling services?

Marriage counselling services are a type of psychotherapy that helps married couples or romantic partners resolve conflicts, negotiate differences and improve their relationship.
How can Marriage Counselling help in Affair Recovery?

Affair recovery is a complex and challenging process that requires commitment from both partners. To help couples recover from infidelity and rebuild trust in their relationship, counsellors can offer support and help them navigate the specific challenges they face. Through creating a safe space for both partners to express their emotions, fear, guilt, shame and concerns openly, counsellors guide the couples in the following: Understanding the reasons and impact caused by the infidelity. Rebuilding trust - a critical component of infidelity recovery. Having an open and honest communication by both partners - learning active listening skills, empathy, and effective ways to express their feelings and needs without resorting to blame or defensiveness. Restoring emotional intimacy and rebuilding emotional connection. Addressing underlying issues, exploring unmet needs, improving conflict management skills, renegotiating roles and responsibilities, or addressing other relationship dynamics that contributed to the infidelity. Developing a new relationship foundation based on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.
What can I expect during a marriage counselling session?

During marriage counselling sessions, you and your partner will have an open discussion regarding your issues, actively listen to each other and provide constructive feedback. A licensed counsellor facilitates these conversations, helping you identify underlying patterns and equip you with tools & techniques.
Can my partner and I see each other's answers?

No. The assessment is done separately where each of you will receive a unique login and password. Neither of you can access the other’s information at any time, and we encourage you not to share your login information with your partner in order to preserve the integrity and effectiveness of the questionnaire.
Will I get a copy of my results?

A summary report will be given to you and the detailed results will be given to your therapist to review, interpret the analysis, and more importantly discuss with you ways for improving your relationship. You can choose to continue engaging us to work on this aspect or seek other forms of help.
How long does it take to complete the assessment?

Typically, it takes between one to two hours to complete. The length of time is dependent on the complexity of the issue. You can choose to either complete it in one sitting or in parts if you like. The system will save your input and allow you to continue from where you left off.
What happens after we complete the questionnaire?

When you and your partner have completed the questionnaire, a report will be available on your therapist’s dashboard with the complete results and suggested therapeutic interventions.
I am interested in the checkup. How do I proceed?

Great, you can get in touch with us by email at info@lifeaffinity.com. We will invite you and your spouse for a first consultation before you get started with the tool.
Who created this assessment tool? How reliable is this tool in helping our relationship?

The tool is developed by Drs John and Julie Gottman in collaboration with The Gottman Institute. Dr. John Gottman is a clinical psychologist known for his work in marital stability and relationship analysis. Dr. Julie Gottman is a clinical psychologist who has extensive experience in private practice and teaching settings. The tool is developed from 40 years of research with thousands of couples and relies on intensive, detailed, and evidence-based information on why relationships succeed or fail.
What is pre marriage counselling?

Pre marriage counselling helps couples prepare for marriage. It intends to guide you and your partner in discussing important issues like raising children, finances and potential conflict areas before settling down. With the guidance of a trained counsellor, you will both understand each other's beliefs, goals and values. You will learn how to navigate family dynamics and keep the romance alive through good communication & problem-solving skills.
When should we start pre marriage counselling?

We highly recommend that you book a pre-marriage counselling session several months before the wedding day. This is to allow enough time for assessments, discussions and making changes that will address or fix both of your concerns.

Reach Out to Us