Make your Marriage work!
How do you make your marriage work? Click the image and watch this live interview by Centre for Fathering , Dads for Life with our marital therapist, Ruby Lee, examining causes of divorce, its impact on the couples and their children and how to protect marriages. Also discussed are the Co-parenting tips after divorce, should the inevitable happens. It is important for children to feel loved and cared by both parents.
Key Points shared :
2019 divorce numbers showed couples who were married for 5 to 9 years accounted for largest share (29%) of all divorces. Median age of men 43.4years & women 39.3 years
What are the root cause and reasons?
“Couples say they don't know their spouse anymore”
Once married, couples transition to parenthood and focus on financial and family needs as well as career aspirations, resulting in a shift of focus from each other to many other demands. They lose their friendship and dependence on each other, living separate lives. Life is stressful and lacking fun. Some ended up turning to others for support and down the slippery road of extra-marital affairs. Without the constant communication and time for emotional bonding, issues become difficult to resolve and argument escalates. Marital satisfaction becomes lower and lower overtime till it is cold or hostile.
What are some of the common advice you give to your clients to improve their marriages?
1) Be a team through life transitions
Turn towards each other, make a joint plan and help each other cope, whether it is adjusting to parenthood or getting a new job or making major decisions.
Be really good friends. Allocate time to talk and bond with each other emotionally and inject fun and passion where possible.
2)Talk it out in conflict situations
Instead of gridlocked, dialogue about issues in a calm way. Talk about your needs and expectations, instead of criticisms, contempt, defensiveness and stone-walling.
3) Support each other’s life dreams
Share with each other about your hopes and dreams of couple, family and future plans. Help to make each other's dream and aspirations come true.
What if divorce happens, how do you Co-parent after divorce? Can it still work?
"Children need to feel they are still cared for and loved by both parents."
Co-Parenting is important to help children transition to divorce family life smoothly. Key factors to make this possible are amicable parental relationship, consistent parenting and normalcy. Read the 8 tips in the next post.